Happy Friday!!! May we abundant our day for ourselves and our family. May our work and good intentions be our prayer of good for ourselves and our family. Namaste! How are you feeling on this Friday? Do you have any plans this weekend? I feel great! My plans for the weekend consist of working on my projects and self care.
This morning while I was exercising I thought about expectations of people and myself. Little did I know I would think of this topic today when I had worked on the topic last night in one of my projects. The project I’m working on is a transformation workbook to help kickstart one on their journey to healing. In the workbook, I talked about our parents. I elaborated how we as their children need to let go of our expectations of how our parents should be. No parent is perfect, because they are human just like us. Life does not come with a parenting manual on how to raise children. We have to understand and accept that our parents did the best they could to raise us. We never know what battles they had to fight behind closed doors everyday.
As I talked about the topic of our parents, I realized last night how powerful it was. I’m really excited about my project. I’m truly grateful to have my master degree in social work, life coach certification, unlimited skills and life lessons to be able to take on this amazing project. It lets me know that all I’ve endured did not go in vain. It was a purpose.
I will share that throughout my journey in life I had high expectations of people. I expected people to love and cater to me in a way I needed to be. I expected people to be my everything, because I felt I was lacking a loving family, happiness, abundance, and so much more. It was only because I was dealing with abandonment issues while in foster care. I was envious of my biological cousins who were still living with their mother. I was envious of friends who were raised in a two parent family household. I was envious of those who had a successful marriage and so forth.
And here I was meeting everyone’s expectations and went beyond, yet they couldn’t meet my expectations. Nor they made me feel appreciated. I experienced a lot of disappointments, because I gave my all lacking nothing. What really opened my eyes was when my ex-husband of 10 years told me that he still loved me, but he was in love with another woman he had known for four months. We’ve only been apart for a year. I walked away from it all, because he didn’t want to heal and break his family generational curses. I couldn’t stay in the marriage, because I was healing and breaking all my family generational curses for the sake of me and my children. My children deserves a healed and strong version of a mother so they won’t have to break any curses in their adulthood. It wasn’t easy to walk away, because I still loved him.
Everything he expected of me as a devoted wife, he didn’t expect of her. I was more of a mother to him than I was his wife because of his own abandonment issues. I was his emotional trauma center. Wow! From there my healing was turned up a notch for the better. I don’t hold high expectations of anyone except myself. And I will NOT meet people’s expectations for their own personal gain. Although I am a healer and a Life Coach, I have to maintain my healthy boundaries to protect myself. I noticed I tend to carry people through their pain without them learning the lesson behind it. My heart is huge, but I realized I am not Superwoman to take on everyone’s problems.
So with that being said my lovely readers, don’t hold high expectations of people. You’ll save yourself a lot of disappointments. And remember people are human and they are allowed to make mistakes. Also don’t let people hold you accountable to their expectations of you, because they couldn’t do it themselves. Don’t let their fear of success, achievements, healing and so forth be projected on you! Wow that’s deep!! It hits different for me, because throughout my life I let people projected their fears on me. And I would meet their expectations for the sake of giving them pleasure while I was suffering. Babe that won’t happen again! This is my year to go for everything I denied myself of!! Yesssss!! Have a productive weekend my loves! Thank you again for supporting me during this journey as I pick up the pieces of the puzzle in my life. You all are witnessing an amazing transformation. Please share with someone who would benefit from these blogs. After all who doesn’t want to heal for the better to live life abundantly and freely?
Check me out on the Growing Pains For Evolution podcast. It’s on Anchor, Spotify, Google Podcast, and Apple Podcast. Here’s the link https://anchor.fm/kamil-gerald. The podcast is currently in season 2.